Relocation

I'm trying out a new platform, and building a site that contains a few other things in addition to my blog.

You can check it out here: http://nicolemcorreia.com/


It's a work in progress, and there are still some things to migrate and figure out, but I have started writing there.

Thanks!

here & now..... and in about 5 months

It would be funny if I followed up that last post  - about enjoying the moment we're in  - with a post about a big change coming to our family, wouldn't it?

We're expecting baby #2 in late July.


I thought a change like this would throw me into a spin about things we need and don't have. But I've managed to stay firmly in this spot, this here and now. I'm happy to enjoy the time and place we're in, to make space for a new member of our family within the home and life that we have. 

I know that, just like the first time around, things will change in ways we can't anticipate- in hard ways and awesome ways.

And, while we wait, we get the pleasure of our almost-3-year-old's commentary on the whole "baby in mommy's belly" business. Some recent gems:

• "Is that lump right there the baby?" (pointing to my expanding midsection)
• "I can help with a lot of things, but I can't help get that baby out of you."
• "I'll take care of the baby when mommy and daddy go out. I'll give her a bottle and put her to bed."

here & now

In a few weeks, I turn 33. It feels, well, mostly the same at this point. But also, it feels solid and settled (in a good way), most of the time.

My late 20s were marked by planning and looking ahead: moving, job changes, engagement, planning a wedding, starting a marriage, house hunting, buying a house, moving again, more new jobs, thinking about babies, pregnancy. From 27 to 28 to 29 it was one big step after another. I got used to that pace, to big changes and decisions.

So here I am, a couple weeks away from 33. And it's so tempting to focus on the next thing. I try to resist searching Zillow for homes we could buy, and Pinterest for $20,000 kitchen renovation projects.

Instead, I want to plant my feet firmly and look around at where I am, where my family is, right now. Let's just be here, together, a place we've worked hard to get to.

We've been making some changes to our home and living space so that it better suits our needs right now, and thinking creatively about the space. It feels good. It's always been easy to find the flaws in our home, to think ahead to our next house, to put off making even small improvements because "how much longer will we be here?" But we're going to be here awhile longer and it's been satisfying to embrace our home, give it some love, and make it into the space we want. Financially, it's comforting to not have a giant purchase looming, to take time to save and build up a little bit of a nest egg.

We have just these few short years of parenting young children. And there will be changes and transitions, sure, but it feels good to just make space for the magic of early childhood. If ever there is a time to just be here, now, this is it.

“Children think not of what is past, nor what is to come, but enjoy the present time, which few of us do." - Jean de La Bruyère

DIY Photo Advent Calendar

I spent a few minutes being crafty last week, in the name of a meaningful (and sugar-free) advent calendar. I always loved the chocolate advent calendars growing up, and Evy will too in a few years, but this year I wanted to try something different.

I printed 25 photos of our loved ones (and realized that I need to take more photos of the grownups in our life). I had some kraft paper envelopes that I numbered and decorated with stamps. Each envelope got a photo, and I pinned them to a ribbon with mini clothes pins.

Every day we open an envelope and Evy gets excited to see who's photo is in there. The photos get pinned to the ribbon, so we're building a photo display as we go. My plan is to put the photos in an album for her at the end.

At this age she loves opening envelopes as much as she enjoys opening presents. The only challenge is that she wants to walk off with the envelopes or photos, or that she'll occasionally take everything off the ribbon. Not really a big deal, but I've had to repin things more than expected.

This project was simple, inexpensive, and consistent with the type of holiday season we want to create, with a focus on the people we love.

Giving thanks, daily

The moments before dinnertime in our house can be chaotic, especially during the week. The sprint to get dinner made by 6:30, convincing the toddler to step away from her blocks and come to the table, getting all parts of the meal on the table (and still warm) as we're finally ready to sit - it's a rush of activity that sometimes involves tantrums and cold food, I'll be honest.

It seemed a little nuts, but a couple months ago I decided to add another step to the dinner routine: saying grace, followed by each of us naming something we're thankful for.

It's one of my favorite parts of our day.

The two-year old leads us in grace as we hold hands, a little prayer of thanks that came from my family, who adopted it from dear friends:
God is good, God is great
We thank him for our food, family, and friends.
Amen.

Simple and sweet, it gives us that moment to come together and give thanks.

And then we go around and each say something specific we're thankful for. Hearing a two-year-old's gratitude is funny and sometimes poignant. Some days it's simple: she's thankful for burritos and her toys or chairs and plates.

Other days, she gets a little deeper. "I'm thankful I'm in my house with my mommy and daddy." or "I'm thankful for all my family: Gramma and Vou and Nonni and Papa and Uncle Michael and Aunt Katie and Uncle Dean and my cousins." Or "I'm thankful I had a fun day at daycare and that we're home together now."

And at just two-and-a-half, she's learning gratitude and appreciation- she gets it, as much as she can. I'm amazed at what she understands at this age. Last night, Pat went to the grocery store. He came home, and E said: "Thank you, daddy, for going to the store in the cold to get us food." Nearly every time I serve her a snack or a meal she thanks me - beyond just "thank you," she'll say things like "thank you, mommy, for making me this yummy food." Teaching gratitude is one of my big parenting missions, so I'm proud of her making it a habit so early. Maybe she doesn't fully understand it yet (it's a lifelong lesson, isn't it?), but it's part of her daily routine.

It's been popular recently to give public daily thanks in November. I know that every day I have so much to be grateful for, and that sometimes I forget that. Nightly grace and gratitude has given our family a moment to acknowledge what we have, together.

Following Her Lead

Monday through Thursday, I work outside the home, doing a job I enjoy, in the field I studied, with people I like. On Fridays, I have the extreme good fortune to be home with my two and half year old. I am very lucky to have this job and these Fridays.

For a long time, I treated Fridays as if I had to jam in all the things I couldn’t do with Evy the rest of the week. Trips to the library, the park, playdates, story time, hikes. I saw those Fridays as my chance to do all the things I wasn’t doing with her while I was at work. (And, of course: because even though I'm comfortable with our current arrangement, I'm not guilt-free. I am a mom in 2013, after all.)

And then, Evelyn started talking, and letting me know - in no uncertain terms- what she wanted.

After three days of daycare and a fun-filled day with her Nonni, what she wants on those “mommy days” is simple: to stay home. She wants to play with her own toys and get absorbed in imaginary worlds without anyone telling her that it's time for the next activity. She wants some mommy time and some alone time. She wants to snuggle and read books, play in her kitchen, take care of her dolls.

I was the one who thought we needed all the other stuff.

And so now, I don’t make any Friday plans. I might mention some things we could do, but if she’s not interested I don’t push it. For the most part, I don’t get involved in field trips and playdates, and I resist the temptation to run errands and go visiting.

I let Evelyn stay in her pajamas until late morning (and - one recent rainy day - until after naptime). We color together. We read books and build block towers. She gets lost in her own world of play while I cook or take care of the things around the house that get neglected Monday through Thursday. Sometimes we bake together. We go outside without an agenda: maybe we’ll just wander around the yard, sometimes we go for a walk, or play in the sandbox. (This all makes it sound easy and rosy- there are many challenging toddler moments, I promise. But not having a schedule takes pressure off both of us.)

There are many days when I leave for work and wish I could spend the day at home with my kid. But it's our balance of work/daycare and home that gives us this special luxury of unscheduled time together on Fridays.

I don’t worry much about giving her time to socialize, or do projects, or go to the playground. Evy spends three days a week with her best buddies- painting, making music, building, playing outside, running around the gym, learning about sharing, empathy, and working together. On Thursdays, her Nonni brings her to story time or the park. And on my work days, I get plenty of time with other adults - something I missed very much when I was working less.

So, on Fridays, we can just be. And I’m getting better at letting that happen.

40 Things the Internet Has Told Me to Be Afraid Of

The internet makes it hard not to be a nervous person - and especially impossible to not be a nervous mom. This is a list of all the things I've recently been warned about via links, articles, and blog posts. I started linking to the source of each of these warnings but decided that I'd refrain from being part of the problem. If you're really interested in what to be afraid of with each of these things, do a quick Google search. You'll find more than you ever wanted to know. Or email me, I'll fill you in.

I think many of these are overblown, and/or I've chosen not to worry about those. Some of them relate to things I don't eat/drink/buy/do. A few of them I do worry about. But seriously, let's just take a step back and take a page from my favorite parenting trend of all.

Things the Internet Has Told Me to Be Afraid Of:

1. Food that isn't organic
2. Food that says it is organic but maybe isn't
3. Brown rice
4. White rice
5. Baby monitors
6. Dressers
7. Sandy beaches
8. Olive oil
9. Processed food
10. Cow's milk
11. Carrageenan - and, ice cream
12. Sunblock
13. Skin cancer
14. Co-sleeping
15. Not co-sleeping
16. Babywearing
17. Not babywearing
18. High fructose corn syrup
19. White bread
20. Wheat
21. Soy
22. Food dyes
23. Not eating enough vegetables
24. Eating vegetables soaked in chlorine/chemicals/dirt
25. Causing an eating disorder in my kid because I'm too worried about food
26. Children's vitamins
27. Shampoo
28. Swimming pools
29. Sandbox sand 
30. Vaccinations
31. Declining vaccination rates and a rise in disease
32. Trader Joe's
33. My pots and pans
34. Too much screen time
35. White noise for sleeping
36. Sleep deprivation
37. Lack of bacteria in my gut
38. Too much bacteria in my reusable shopping bags
39. Laundry detergent packets
40. Damaging my children by being a nervous parent

What did I miss? I'm sure there are dozens of additional things I should be afraid of that I don't even know about yet.